Johnny the Clam

Johnny the clam was a... well he was a clam. But he was a really swell clam. He generally did nice things when he could remember to and always told ladies that they looked nice. One day Johnny the clam decided that perhaps there was more to life than the somewhat lumpy patch of sand that he called his home. And so, Johnny the clam set out on his first-ever adventure. His first concern was a mode of transportation. He started by sucking in small quantities of water and then spitting them out at high velocities in order to propel himself backward. Then he tried to hitch rides by clamping onto the fins of other fish. Finally, he would prop himself up on his side and roll along like a wheel. Using these three methods, Johnny was making good time. He saw many things as he traveled. He saw shipwercks and coral reefs, submarines and baluga whales, mermaids and sea-horses. He was quite adventureous and tried foreign food wherever he was. Sometimes he would get indigestion and have to leave his stomach somewhere. One day Johnny was rolling along on his side when he realized that he was lonely more than anything else. All of the adventure in whole world wasn't enough to stop the yearning in his heart for companionship. So he tried going to sandbars to pick up cute clam chicks. That didn't go so well so he just rolled along and tried to make conversation with passers-by. One day he met a tigershark named Avery who seemed quite friendly. Johnny told Avery all about his adventures. He told him about the amazing things he'd seen and the strange things he'd eaten. Avery laughed and laughed.
When he learned the Johnny had grown tired of traveling he said, "Wow, you quit before seeing the amazing ice shelf. That's too bad."
"What's that?" asked Johnny.
"Oh, it's only the most amazing wonder to behold under the sea," replied Avery.
Johnny became very excited and begged Avery to take him to the amazing ice shelf.
Finally, Avery relented and said, "Ok, I'll take you. Just hope in my mouth here and I'll take you right there."
And so, Johnny hoped in Avery's mouth and was promptly eaten. What sort of moral can we derive from such a sad tale? Well, either don't trust hungry people with your life... or if you're a clam, a great way to get around is by rolling around on your side like a wheel. Well, I don't know about you, but i feel ike some clam chowder right about now...