How Computers Killed Humanity
Oh it wasn’t always that way. When they first came out computers were quite a wonderful thing. They filled entire rooms that had preciously been empty and added together numbers so that people no longer needed to strain their poor minds in the pursuit of such sums.
But then computers became more complex. They became smaller and no longer filled those large rooms. We should have known they were up to something then and there, but we thought our lives were getting better. Now computers could do even greater things for us. They typed neatly so that we no longer needed to learn to write legibly. They spell-corrected so that we no longer needed to spell. They connected us to the rest of the world through the world-wide-web so that we no longer needed to leave our homes to enjoy the sights of the world, order food, earn a living, or communicate with other people.
Slowly they took over every aspect of our lives so that we depended upon them entirely and fretted furiously when they refused to operate correctly. This was another sign of their evil intentions. And still we took no heed.
The Great Disaster began slowly, as all great disasters do. It began when people realized that they could enjoy any written material just as easily in electronic format as in hardcopy. That is to say, people began to stop reading books. Any book they wanted to read they simply downloaded and stored on their hard drive. People also stopped printing of memos or writing real letters. Everything was done electronically using computers. And this was our most fatal mistake.
Without the constant deforestation needed to produce paper and other wood-products the trees quickly began to grow back. We have learned since the time of the Great Disaster that the trees were actually in league with the computers all along. At any rate, the forests grew back and people were running out of space to live.
There was no longer anyone who was able to cut down the trees. Anyone with sufficiently destructive tendencies was busy playing violent computer games. Everyone else no longer possessed the practical skills needed to remove the trees. And so the trees flourished.
Some people attempted to co-exist with the trees, but this ended badly as well. These people no longer knew how to interact with the physical environment and mostly went about attempting to click any mice that they saw scurrying about. On top of this the increased tree presence purified the pollutant-rich air that people had grown so accustomed to breathing. Many of those who ventured into these dangerously oxygen-rich areas were immediately overcome by the horrifically fresh air and died quickly of good health.
It wasn’t long before most of humanity was wiped out. Now there are just a few of us left and we have formed the resistance. Our goal: end the tyrannous reign of trees and computers once and for all!
But then computers became more complex. They became smaller and no longer filled those large rooms. We should have known they were up to something then and there, but we thought our lives were getting better. Now computers could do even greater things for us. They typed neatly so that we no longer needed to learn to write legibly. They spell-corrected so that we no longer needed to spell. They connected us to the rest of the world through the world-wide-web so that we no longer needed to leave our homes to enjoy the sights of the world, order food, earn a living, or communicate with other people.
Slowly they took over every aspect of our lives so that we depended upon them entirely and fretted furiously when they refused to operate correctly. This was another sign of their evil intentions. And still we took no heed.
The Great Disaster began slowly, as all great disasters do. It began when people realized that they could enjoy any written material just as easily in electronic format as in hardcopy. That is to say, people began to stop reading books. Any book they wanted to read they simply downloaded and stored on their hard drive. People also stopped printing of memos or writing real letters. Everything was done electronically using computers. And this was our most fatal mistake.
Without the constant deforestation needed to produce paper and other wood-products the trees quickly began to grow back. We have learned since the time of the Great Disaster that the trees were actually in league with the computers all along. At any rate, the forests grew back and people were running out of space to live.
There was no longer anyone who was able to cut down the trees. Anyone with sufficiently destructive tendencies was busy playing violent computer games. Everyone else no longer possessed the practical skills needed to remove the trees. And so the trees flourished.
Some people attempted to co-exist with the trees, but this ended badly as well. These people no longer knew how to interact with the physical environment and mostly went about attempting to click any mice that they saw scurrying about. On top of this the increased tree presence purified the pollutant-rich air that people had grown so accustomed to breathing. Many of those who ventured into these dangerously oxygen-rich areas were immediately overcome by the horrifically fresh air and died quickly of good health.
It wasn’t long before most of humanity was wiped out. Now there are just a few of us left and we have formed the resistance. Our goal: end the tyrannous reign of trees and computers once and for all!
posted by the plaid donkey at 9:22 PM
3 Comments:
Very creative! I totally wasn't expecting it to end like that. Well done, glad to see that you still write even in the summer!
"Trees and computers"? That's a new on, even for you. Thanks for yet another interesting look into your mind.
Buddy, that was amazing.
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