The Fruit Stand
Eddy was driving a teal-green smart car through the Nevada Desert. He was on a business trip and his company had decided that it would be cheaper for him to drive the company smart car rather than to fly. Eddy thought this was very stupid.
He had been driving for four hours when he began to get thirsty. Perhaps this was because he had been staring out across a blazing desert for so long and it was starting to have a psychological effect on him. Or perhaps it was because he hadn’t had anything to drink for four hours and had been munching on some stale pretzels that he had found in the glove box. At any rate, he was considerably parched and was looking around eagerly for a convenience store of some sort to cure him of his ailment.
For the next forty-five minutes there was nothing. Eddy was begging to ponder how unhealthy it would be drink just a tiny bit of his windshield-washer fluid when he spied a sign. “Freddie’s Fruit Stand, next left.” it read. Eddy sighed with relief. While a cool bottle of Evian would be more appreciated he was glad that he could get some fruit to quench his thirst. Besides, the store would likely have some source of water and so he could perhaps negotiate his way to a refreshing beverage of some sort.
A sign reading “Freddie’s Fruit Stand, right here!” stood just beside a run-down looking old shop. Eddy pulled the smart car into the patch of dark sand that passed as a parking lot for the store. He parked the car and eagerly went into the little fruit stand.
Inside there were containers along both of the side walls that were filled with just about every fruit imaginable. There were apples and pears, apricots and plums, bananas and peaches, kiwi and pineapple, mango and papaya, and many more. Despite the shop’s remote location the fruit seemed to be fantastically fresh. Eddy’s cotton-ball mouth hung hungrily open.
“Welcome to Freddie’s Fruit Stand,” said an overly enthusiastic voice from the back of the shop.
Along the wall at the back there was a long waist-high counter. Behind the counter stood a grinning red-headed young man. A name-tag on his chest read, “Freddie.”
“Uh, hi… Freddie,” replied Eddy. “Is this your fruit stand?”
“Yeah, it sure is! Wow, how’d you know that?”
“I just saw at your name tag.”
“Well, yeah. I figured that’s how you knew my name, but it still doesn’t explain how you know that I own this here fruit stand.”
“Uh… well, it’s called Freddie’s Fruit stand, right?”
“Right.”
“And you’re name is Freddie, right?”
“Right…”
Eddy didn’t have the patience to educate this mentally deficient young man. He was much more interested in the succulent fruit in the containers along the walls. He picked up two pears, a peach, and a banana and brought them to the counter.
“All these?” Freddie asked Eddie.
“Yup.”
“That’ll be five bucks.”
“That’s all?”
“You bet!”
“Not that I’m complaining, but it must be hard for you to make a profit with prices like that.”
Freddie grinned. Eddy shrugged, picked up his juicy fruits and turned to leave.
“Woah, big fella!” said Freddie. “Where do you think you’re taking those?”
“Uh… to my car to eat them,” answered Eddy.
“No way pal! What do you think this is?”
“A fruit stand?”
“Exactly! So just put those back on this here counter.”
Eddy put the fruit back on the counter and stared at Freddie.
“Didn’t I just buy those?”
“Heck no buddy, you paid for a try.”
“A try at what?”
“At standing the fruit.”
“Huh?”
“This is a FRUIT-STAND. You pick your fruit, try to stand it up and if you succeed you get to keep the winnings.”
“Try to stand it up?”
“Yup. Go on… give it a try.”
Eddy wasn’t in the mood for this but he really wanted the fruit. So, he set about standing the fruit up. He successfully propped the banana up against the peach. But when he tried to put one of the pears on top of the peach the whole thing fell over.
“Tough luck pal,” said Freddie with a grin.
“Come on, let me try again,” implored Eddy.
“Sure thing… for five bucks.”
Eddy glared but paid the amount. Three more tries and fifteen dollars later Eddy succeeded in standing all the fruit up together.
“There,” sighed Eddy, “can I have my fruit now?”
“Fruit? No way pal, you get this wonderful stuffed bunny!”
Eddy’s face turned an angry shade of red. Rather than smash this fellow’s face in and earn himself a hefty lawsuit, Eddy turned and left the shop. He stood outside the door in the blistering heat and ground his teeth. Then something white around the corner of the shop caught his eye. Investigating he discovered that it was a refrigerator. Curious, he opened the door. Inside were twenty or thirty glistening bottles of Evian water.
Eddy smiled a mischievous smile, grabbed all of the bottles that he could (which happened to be all but two) and scampered back to his car. Throwing them onto his passenger seat he started the engine and tore out of the parking lot.
Eddy laughed and drank Evian water for the rest of his trip. As a result of this activity he ended up having to stop about every ten minutes to relieve himself on the side of the road. Due to these stops he was late for his business meeting and was subsequently fired from his job. Regardless of all this Eddy was pleased with himself. He had gotten his revenge upon that Freddie fellow and that was enough to put a smile on his face.
He had been driving for four hours when he began to get thirsty. Perhaps this was because he had been staring out across a blazing desert for so long and it was starting to have a psychological effect on him. Or perhaps it was because he hadn’t had anything to drink for four hours and had been munching on some stale pretzels that he had found in the glove box. At any rate, he was considerably parched and was looking around eagerly for a convenience store of some sort to cure him of his ailment.
For the next forty-five minutes there was nothing. Eddy was begging to ponder how unhealthy it would be drink just a tiny bit of his windshield-washer fluid when he spied a sign. “Freddie’s Fruit Stand, next left.” it read. Eddy sighed with relief. While a cool bottle of Evian would be more appreciated he was glad that he could get some fruit to quench his thirst. Besides, the store would likely have some source of water and so he could perhaps negotiate his way to a refreshing beverage of some sort.
A sign reading “Freddie’s Fruit Stand, right here!” stood just beside a run-down looking old shop. Eddy pulled the smart car into the patch of dark sand that passed as a parking lot for the store. He parked the car and eagerly went into the little fruit stand.
Inside there were containers along both of the side walls that were filled with just about every fruit imaginable. There were apples and pears, apricots and plums, bananas and peaches, kiwi and pineapple, mango and papaya, and many more. Despite the shop’s remote location the fruit seemed to be fantastically fresh. Eddy’s cotton-ball mouth hung hungrily open.
“Welcome to Freddie’s Fruit Stand,” said an overly enthusiastic voice from the back of the shop.
Along the wall at the back there was a long waist-high counter. Behind the counter stood a grinning red-headed young man. A name-tag on his chest read, “Freddie.”
“Uh, hi… Freddie,” replied Eddy. “Is this your fruit stand?”
“Yeah, it sure is! Wow, how’d you know that?”
“I just saw at your name tag.”
“Well, yeah. I figured that’s how you knew my name, but it still doesn’t explain how you know that I own this here fruit stand.”
“Uh… well, it’s called Freddie’s Fruit stand, right?”
“Right.”
“And you’re name is Freddie, right?”
“Right…”
Eddy didn’t have the patience to educate this mentally deficient young man. He was much more interested in the succulent fruit in the containers along the walls. He picked up two pears, a peach, and a banana and brought them to the counter.
“All these?” Freddie asked Eddie.
“Yup.”
“That’ll be five bucks.”
“That’s all?”
“You bet!”
“Not that I’m complaining, but it must be hard for you to make a profit with prices like that.”
Freddie grinned. Eddy shrugged, picked up his juicy fruits and turned to leave.
“Woah, big fella!” said Freddie. “Where do you think you’re taking those?”
“Uh… to my car to eat them,” answered Eddy.
“No way pal! What do you think this is?”
“A fruit stand?”
“Exactly! So just put those back on this here counter.”
Eddy put the fruit back on the counter and stared at Freddie.
“Didn’t I just buy those?”
“Heck no buddy, you paid for a try.”
“A try at what?”
“At standing the fruit.”
“Huh?”
“This is a FRUIT-STAND. You pick your fruit, try to stand it up and if you succeed you get to keep the winnings.”
“Try to stand it up?”
“Yup. Go on… give it a try.”
Eddy wasn’t in the mood for this but he really wanted the fruit. So, he set about standing the fruit up. He successfully propped the banana up against the peach. But when he tried to put one of the pears on top of the peach the whole thing fell over.
“Tough luck pal,” said Freddie with a grin.
“Come on, let me try again,” implored Eddy.
“Sure thing… for five bucks.”
Eddy glared but paid the amount. Three more tries and fifteen dollars later Eddy succeeded in standing all the fruit up together.
“There,” sighed Eddy, “can I have my fruit now?”
“Fruit? No way pal, you get this wonderful stuffed bunny!”
Eddy’s face turned an angry shade of red. Rather than smash this fellow’s face in and earn himself a hefty lawsuit, Eddy turned and left the shop. He stood outside the door in the blistering heat and ground his teeth. Then something white around the corner of the shop caught his eye. Investigating he discovered that it was a refrigerator. Curious, he opened the door. Inside were twenty or thirty glistening bottles of Evian water.
Eddy smiled a mischievous smile, grabbed all of the bottles that he could (which happened to be all but two) and scampered back to his car. Throwing them onto his passenger seat he started the engine and tore out of the parking lot.
Eddy laughed and drank Evian water for the rest of his trip. As a result of this activity he ended up having to stop about every ten minutes to relieve himself on the side of the road. Due to these stops he was late for his business meeting and was subsequently fired from his job. Regardless of all this Eddy was pleased with himself. He had gotten his revenge upon that Freddie fellow and that was enough to put a smile on his face.
posted by the plaid donkey at 9:29 PM
3 Comments:
Good stuff, good stuff!!
Senior Poofy, how you dazzle and delight me with your marvelous tricks of skill and splendor.
I have been offered quite a large sum of money to turn you in, Gordon. I am considering taking the offer. Thought I would let you know.
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