Gnomiology 101
Gnomiology is the study of the smallish, supposedly mystical creatures known as gnomes. Many people believe that gnomes are not real and therefor do not need to be studied. Unfortunately these people are silly folk with no understanding of what is true and what is fictitious. Gnomes are really very real and we must understand them so that we can know how to live along side them.
The word gnome comes from the Greek word "gignosko," meaning 'to learn, understand'. A primary gnomish characteristic is an acute understanding of every aspect of the Cosmos. They, unlike humans, learn from their past and act accordingly. Gnomes are actually quite clever creatures.
Gnomes generally range from eight to twelve inches in height. In appearance they resemble the ethnic group of the region from which they come from. Thusly there are black gnomes, Asian gnomes, and so on.
Gnomes are also known for their continuously positive disposition. They are unable to worry and partake of recuperative partying. As a result their life span is considerably longer than that of humans.
Most gnomiologists agree that gnomes have been around since the beginning of the world. They were created to care for the precious minerals, metals, and stones that exist deep below the earth’s crust.
All Gnomes once lived in simplistic happiness in their communities deep below the earth’s crust. Unfortunately, due to their helpful nature, some gnomes aided humans in discovering deposits of precious resources that were hidden deep underground.
The greedy humans then began harvesting these resources to an extent that began to cause troubles for the gnomish people. Some gnomes resorted to leaving their underground homes and moving to deep forests where they could live peacefully. There they built homes among the dirt and roots at the base of trees.
Ever helpful, the gnomes persisted in aiding humans in whatever ways they could. Many an over-worked person would come to do a chore or job only to find it mysteriously completed already.
Unwelcome change came to the gnomes once again as humans began to chop down the great forests that had become home to this smallish people. Gnomes were once again forced to relocate. Some move deeper into the forests. Others moved to other countries that still had some wilderness left untouched by humans. Still others adapted to coexist alongside humans. Some of these live at peace with humans and use their knowledge and skills to aid their larger neighbors. Another sort of these gnomes who dwell alongside humans have taken up a different practice. They engage in minor, yet irritating mischievous activities.
Some such pranks include stealing, rearranging, mind-games, and tripping. If you have ever misplaced some small trinket, lost a sock in a dryer, sworn you hear someone say your name, or tripped seemingly over nothing at all then you have fallen victim to these playful pranksters.
This is an area where raising awareness is important. Not enough people know about these mischievous gnomes and begin to think that they are forgetful, or clumsy, or even crazy. This is one area where you can help. Be on the lookout for situations where a friend or family member tell you about something they have lost or when you see them trip suddenly over the ground. Instead of laughing at them, as you would customarily do, inform them about the crisis of homeless gnomes driven to mischievousness.
Also, when some similar event happens to you, comment to those around you that it is likely the doing of those dang gnomes. Follow this statement by calling out at the nasty gnomes to leave you alone. If those with you give you strange looks then you can simply grin and nod at them until they accept what you have said.
Another thing that you can do to aid in this situation is to give a home to a sad, homeless gnome. They enjoy quiet, peaceful places such as gardens that are full of tasty plants that they can nibble on. If you have no garden they will also live in cracks or holes in walls or under steps. If you are interested head on to http://www.garden-gnomes-need-homes.com where you can give a needy gnome a home.
Thank you for having an open mind. And remember, gnomiology may just save your life. So study up.
The word gnome comes from the Greek word "gignosko," meaning 'to learn, understand'. A primary gnomish characteristic is an acute understanding of every aspect of the Cosmos. They, unlike humans, learn from their past and act accordingly. Gnomes are actually quite clever creatures.
Gnomes generally range from eight to twelve inches in height. In appearance they resemble the ethnic group of the region from which they come from. Thusly there are black gnomes, Asian gnomes, and so on.
Gnomes are also known for their continuously positive disposition. They are unable to worry and partake of recuperative partying. As a result their life span is considerably longer than that of humans.
Most gnomiologists agree that gnomes have been around since the beginning of the world. They were created to care for the precious minerals, metals, and stones that exist deep below the earth’s crust.
All Gnomes once lived in simplistic happiness in their communities deep below the earth’s crust. Unfortunately, due to their helpful nature, some gnomes aided humans in discovering deposits of precious resources that were hidden deep underground.
The greedy humans then began harvesting these resources to an extent that began to cause troubles for the gnomish people. Some gnomes resorted to leaving their underground homes and moving to deep forests where they could live peacefully. There they built homes among the dirt and roots at the base of trees.
Ever helpful, the gnomes persisted in aiding humans in whatever ways they could. Many an over-worked person would come to do a chore or job only to find it mysteriously completed already.
Unwelcome change came to the gnomes once again as humans began to chop down the great forests that had become home to this smallish people. Gnomes were once again forced to relocate. Some move deeper into the forests. Others moved to other countries that still had some wilderness left untouched by humans. Still others adapted to coexist alongside humans. Some of these live at peace with humans and use their knowledge and skills to aid their larger neighbors. Another sort of these gnomes who dwell alongside humans have taken up a different practice. They engage in minor, yet irritating mischievous activities.
Some such pranks include stealing, rearranging, mind-games, and tripping. If you have ever misplaced some small trinket, lost a sock in a dryer, sworn you hear someone say your name, or tripped seemingly over nothing at all then you have fallen victim to these playful pranksters.
This is an area where raising awareness is important. Not enough people know about these mischievous gnomes and begin to think that they are forgetful, or clumsy, or even crazy. This is one area where you can help. Be on the lookout for situations where a friend or family member tell you about something they have lost or when you see them trip suddenly over the ground. Instead of laughing at them, as you would customarily do, inform them about the crisis of homeless gnomes driven to mischievousness.
Also, when some similar event happens to you, comment to those around you that it is likely the doing of those dang gnomes. Follow this statement by calling out at the nasty gnomes to leave you alone. If those with you give you strange looks then you can simply grin and nod at them until they accept what you have said.
Another thing that you can do to aid in this situation is to give a home to a sad, homeless gnome. They enjoy quiet, peaceful places such as gardens that are full of tasty plants that they can nibble on. If you have no garden they will also live in cracks or holes in walls or under steps. If you are interested head on to http://www.garden-gnomes-need-homes.com where you can give a needy gnome a home.
Thank you for having an open mind. And remember, gnomiology may just save your life. So study up.
posted by the plaid donkey at 8:13 PM
2 Comments:
I believe the helpful Gnomes you refer to are called "Tommyknockers."
Gord, you have changed my entire outlook on life!!! I must go and find those poor gnomes and apologize for the horrible crimes that humanity has done to them. In fact, I will go live with them deep in the forest right now... ok tomorrow.
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